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Puppy Bowl viewership surges in Green Bay

Colton West, Off the Wall Writer
February 6, 2013
Filed under Off the Wall

Handfuls of animal lovers tuned in to Animal Planet Sunday in order to watch the Puppy Bowl.

The show combines rabid consumerism with America’s love for adorable, arbitrary action.

More than 11,000 households in the Green Bay area tuned in to the Puppy Bowl, 4,000 more households than in 2011.

Puppy Bowl enthusiast Ramsey Holt said this has nothing to do with the fact that the Packers made it to the Super Bowl in 2011, but failed to do so in 2013.

“Who are the Packers anyway?” Holt said.

The 34-year-old computer technician owns a collection of more than a dozen dog-themed shirts. He wears these shirts to work every day, according to co-worker James Lipschitz.

According to Holt, the Puppy Bowl has mysterious origins in Taekwondo and canine breeding circles. It was not until 2001, however, that the event was televised. Since then, the show has received a number of big name sponsors such as Purina and the American Animal Hospital Assosiation.

Holt said he laments the changes the event has gone through. He claimed consumerism has taken away from the athletic showmanship and good will of the game.

“The sport has become overcommercialized,” Holt said. “I remember when The Puppy Bowl was about the dogs. Now it’s just about selling a vacuum.”

The Fourth Estate attempted to contact Meep Thebird, cockatiel and Puppy Bowl host. “Cheep cheep cheep,” Thebird said. “Cheep cheep cheep.”

Katelyn Winzt, freshman environmental science major, hosted a Puppy Bowl viewing party at her residence hall.

“I’m not even sure what’s going on right now,” Wizt said. “But darnnit if Aurora and Butterscotch aren’t the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

Other viewers participated in Fantasy Puppy Bowl leagues online, where pups earned their teams points for fur color, spunk and good attitude.

Jason Fink, undeclared sophomore, had fan-favorite Noodlebum and underdog Willard on his Fantasy Puppy Bowl team.

“I think I have a good chance of winning my league this year,” Fink said. “Noodlebum is really a man’s puppy. An intellectual. The kind of dog you could smoke a cigar with while drinking scotch and listening to Johnny Cash.”

Jerry Fink, Jason’s father and former dog breeder, is also a member of Jason’s Fantasy Puppy Bowl league. Jerry disagrees, claiming that Aurora is the superior puppy.

“Noodlebum has nice fur, and his attitude is good, but he lacks  spunk,” Jerry said. “I bred bloodhound pups for over a decade, so I know all about spunk. Aurora is definitely the best contender for Puppy Bowl MVP.”

Winzt was heartbroken when her favorite pup, Butterscotch, lost to Marta. Marta, though smaller than most of the puppies competing, won the crowd over with her perserverence.

“I still think Butterscotch did well,” Winzt said. “She came back from her leg injury last season and made it all the way to the Puppy Bowl this year. She’s almost a year old now, though, so this will probably be her last season before retirement.”

Winzt hopes Butterscotch’s place in the Puppy Bowl Hall of Fame will be secure, despite allegations that she defecated on the field.

Holt believes Butterscotch is guilty of the defacation.

“Butterscotch has always been a lying, cheating bitch,” Holt said. When asked to elaborate on this comment, Holt simply continued staring uncomfortably at the picture of a Welsh Corgi he keeps in a frame on his work desk.